Thursday, March 21, 2013

To all you beavers out there...

Yesterday was grocery day...and, well, since I  list "grocery shopping" as one of my top 17 least favorite things to do, I always splurge (we're talking less than $5.00, so don't even go there) and buy myself a little "surprise" for the 1/2 day I spent doing the inevitable (inevitable, I suppose, if you don't want your family, dogs and mice included - j/k about the mice, I'll get to that later - to starve).  Anyhow, my surprise was a magazine.  A health/wellness/girly magazine...NOT a parenting/decorating/cooking/or otherwise domesticated-woman-type magazine.  Regardless, after coming home to a less-than-appreciative husband, a whining daughter (both of whom are loved no matter), unloading and putting away said groceries, doing 2 loads of laundry - while at the same time battling the mice-poo that has somehow multiplied, divided, and multiplied again, in my washroom since leaving earlier this afternoon, amongst other fun things, I finally go to enjoy a hot cup of tea, along with a hot bath and my new, exciting little gift.  So, I'm laid back in the tub, flipping through my half-wet magazine now and notice an advertisement, apparently addressed to beavers, (yeah, beavers) that begins..."Clean beavers....and ends with "...get more wood".  Excuse me, but what tha...??? If you're not good at reading between the lines, let me clue you in...the ad was actually addressed to women, advertising "personal wipes"...yes, wipes with which to wipe your lady parts after getting, well..."dirty". 

Looking at the picture of the beaver, while my mind is trying to wrap itself around the whole analogy-attempt-gone-horribly-wrong, I think, is this what single ladies think about today? and do they really refer to that amazing analogical wonder, (I'm just gonna say it here, ok -) their vagina, as a beaver?  

I seriously doubt it, ok? Who the hell looks at a real beaver and then somehow equates that creepy-yet-serious-looking animal with her who-hah. vag. bubble-gum. cookie. va-j-j. whatever. but NOT a freaking beaver.  Not this girl. 
beaver photo: Beaver Beaver.jpg

Having made (hopefully) my point, I sincerely hope the creators of this obnoxious ad will rethink their next marketing campaign.  That, or fire the idiot that created that one. 

As for me...I won't be buying any "beaver wipes" any time soon.